Have you ever wondered how to motivate your child/children and give them something to strive toward?
How can you, as parents, help them achieve their full potential that will help draw them up to a higher level of excellence and achievement?
- Turn unlikable projects into a game to make them fun. Brigham, at age 5 or 6, was challenged to see how fast he could unload the dishwasher. It became a challenge and a game. Eventually he got it to 2 minutes.
- Challenge younger children to follow the positive examples of older siblings. This is a powerful form of social proof and very motivating. Enoch (age 5) was told the story of his older brother and challenged to hit the same goal.
- Encourage older siblings to mentor younger ones. Modeling right behavior is a wonderful way to inspire and teach. Brigham coached Enoch to learn how to do dishes really fast.
- Praise results… even if they aren’t that great at first. Encouragement and love are better than criticism and discipline. Enoch was slow and didn’t put things in the right place at first. But with praise, he got better and better.
- Give children ownership and responsibility. Let them take pride in their work. Enoch was happy to milk goats every morning and try harder and harder to get a full milk pail when he had his own, nice pail and got paid when the milk sold.
Children want to be great. They want to feel important. They want to be pushed to do more and be better.
Help them reach their full potential by expecting more, praising more, and giving them a mentor and tools to raise up.
Watch the video above for the full lesson so that you can help your child REACH FOR GREATNESS.
Related quotes to consider:
JOSHUA – A little while ago we did a little video segment on how to get your children to do hard things. We talked about our daughter begging us to mow the lawn at 10, 11 years old. We had so many great comments on that one we thought we’d do a little follow-up onto that. This little follow-up starts when our son Brigham… how old was Brigham at the time? Five or six?
MARGIE – Five or six. Yeah.
JOSHUA- Five or six. We put the idea into his head that it shouldn’t take forever to unload the dishwasher. That was his job. Was it load and unload?
MARGIE – Load and unload, yeah.
JOSHUA – Okay, so he had to load and unload the dishwasher.
MARGIE – After every meal.
JOSHUA – And Brigham, he’s a methodical, timepiece type of a guy, and so we bought him a stopwatch and he would set his timer and he would be like, “Alright, how fast can I load and unload the dishwasher?” And he’d set the timer and just go as fast as he could and try to figure out efficient ways to do it. Now this is a five and six and seven years old, and he got it down to, one day I think in like two minutes, he got the entire dishwasher unloaded and loaded, and this was a full set of dishes. This wasn’t like one or two plates. We have a big family. So it was a lot of dishes.
MARGIE – And they were all rinsed, ready for him, but he just unloaded, and then reloaded it.
JOSHUA – Now, there’s actually a whole tactic around how we actually got him to do that, but there’s a follow-up story that’s great. Our son Enoch turned five not too long ago, and we were changing up jobs in the house, and we were like, “Maybe, I don’t know. Enoch, maybe you could start unloading and loading the dishwasher and… but probably not. You’re probably not big enough. But you know, when Brigham was your age, Enoch, he could do one” … well we have two dishwashers now but then it was one… “Brigham could do this in two, two and a half minutes, and have it done, but you’re probably not strong enough for that, so we’ll give you like… I don’t know, you take your time doing it. It’s alright.” And Enoch was, “I could do that. I could do those dishes.” And so I, “No, no, you’re not quite old enough or big enough yet to get all that stuff done, so hey, don’t worry about it.” Well…
MARGIE – A day or two later… how long was it?
JOSHUA – Yeah, a couple days later, two things happened there. Brigham heard us telling this story and so Brigham pulled Enoch aside and was like, “Let’s show them what we can do.” Right? And Brigham started interacting with his little brother, and showing him some of the tips and tricks he’d do and started timing him, and helping him to do it more efficiently. And so one day, Enoch comes just strutting into my office and you’ve got to know Enoch. You know, we’ve got to give Enoch more of a… in fact, we’ve got a cool video of him telling about this, so we’ll show that to you… So he comes just strutting in and he walks and he’s like, “Dad. Guess what.” Like, “What buddy? What’s going on?” And he goes, “Five minutes, Dad!” I’m like, “What?” And he goes, “Yeah. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah.” And then he proceeds telling me how he’d got both dishwashers done and emptied all the silverware and organized the silverware drawer as a service for his sister.
MARGIE – For his little sister.
JOSHUA – Little Eve. That’s her job.
MARGIE – Two years old.
JOSHUA – Yeah. And he had done this whole thing for her, just as a service thing, and as a surprise for her, and he had done it all in five minutes. And he was so excited about it and you know, his confidence was there. Now, that’s crazy. How do you get a five year old super wired up and excited about doing dishes? I can’t… You know, Margie still has an allergic reaction to dishes, and now our five-year-old is super-super-duper excited to do it.
ENOCH – I did both dishwashers. I did Eve’s silverware.
JOSHUA – Yeah?
ENOCH – With two silverwares in the drawer and I did it in five minutes.
JOSHUA – You’ve done both dishwashers, all the silverware, in the drawer, and did service for your little sister Eve, and you did it in less than five minutes?
ENOCH – Yes.
JOSHUA – No way. You’re amazing! Dude, right here. Knuck’s, pound me out, baby. Boom! You’re awesome. Thanks for doing service, buddy. Love you.
ENOCH – Love you too.
MARGIE – I have another story about Enoch.
JOSHUA – Oh yeah. Go ahead.
MARGIE – Okay, so Christmas is coming. We had just gotten some new goats, and they were milking the goats, and there’s… Our two girls go out every morning and every night to milk the goats.
JOSHUA – Now they’re out there every morning, usually by 6:30, 7 o’clock.
MARGIE – Early in the morning, yeah. And so I had this great idea. For Christmas, I got Enoch a little milk pail! A little one!
JOSHUA – His very own little milk pail!
MARGIE – His hands are still pretty small for milking, so I thought, well, let’s give this to him for Christmas. It’ll be a big deal, and he can start trying to milk.
JOSHUA – So we put it into a box and it’s all wrapped up and nice.
MARGIE – It’s a big box, and so a few days after Christmas, he’s out there with his milk pail, and he’s like, “I’m going to try and milk!” And he went out there, and he got a little bit of milk.
JOSHUA – Like that much down at the bottom. A couple of squirts.
MARGIE – And he was so excited. I took a picture of this too! He came in, “Mom, look how much milk I got. Look how much milk I got out of Sadie!” Our goat, Sadie. So he was so excited, and now, every morning, he doesn’t want to miss his chance. He used to sleep in until 7:30, 8. He wakes up at 6:30 to 6:45 because he doesn’t want to miss his chance to get out there and…
JOSHUA – And his goal. So it started here, then it went to here, and then it’s like he just dreams of the day when he can fill that whole goat, you know, that pail with goat milk, and milk out an entire goat.
MARGIE – And actually the other night, he came in, and he was in tears. He was literally crying. “What’s wrong, buddy?” He said, “I spilled the milk. I had a whole pail and I spilled it on the way in. I was running…”
JOSHUA – Running and so excited that he tripped. Ah!
MARGIE – And he was just crying.
JOSHUA – And then we had a whole lesson on “don’t cry over spilled milk”. It’s alright. So what’s the principle behind this? Well the principle we’re talking about here, and it works with teenagers. It works with little children. It works with toddlers. It works with elementary… It’s just part of human nature and that is, when you give them something to strive toward, a higher level of excellence, you show them that it’s possible. We as human beings, we have natural ambition, and we want to move toward higher plane, and so you’ve got to create those higher planes. Create those higher levels of achievement and give them rewards and motivation a little bit of competition, and help draw them up towards greater heights and to greater excellence. So here’s our invitation for you today. Think about activities that you would really like your child to do. Whatever it is, but think about their full potential. So carefully observe them, and notice what their full potential is. And then, sit down and say, “Okay. They’re doing this level of achievement. They’re doing this good at piano, this good at that, whatever.” And find a way to create an environment, in the way that we’ve just described, and help draw them up to a higher level of excellence, to encourage them to do more. To spur them on to be a little more refined in their manners, a little better in how they eat, a little better about their writing, a little bit better about whatever. And always be putting that next level out there in front of them. And if you do, what you’ll find is number one, putting it out there and just making the suggestion shows that you have confidence in them and they just love that. Don’t they love that? They thrive under that. And the second thing is, as you’ve set that standard, it’s their natural instinct to want to achieve and do better will draw them up forward and they’ll start to go after their ambitions and start to achieve more and to be more and to have more, and they’ll be so much happier and so much more fulfilled, and feel so much better about themselves as they go through that process. So that’s your assignment. Jump onto the Facebook page. We’d love to hear from you, and about what you wanted your child to excel at. How you encouraged them to excel, and what the results were.
MARGIE – That’s right. Exactly.
JOSHUA – Okay? Alright. Great. Thanks for listening. We’ll talk to you soon. Bye now.
MARGIE – Bye.
JOSHUA – Hello friends. Thanks for joining us. We hope you enjoyed this episode. Now would you do us two favors?
MARGIE – The first one is subscribe to this channel. That way you can get all the great updates we’re going to be sending your way.
JOSHUA – The second thing is, do you want more joy in your family life? Do you want more peace and happiness? Well, if you do, we want to give you our entire parenting system, the Family Fun Miracle, totally for free.
MARGIE – You ever felt friction in your home, or stress in your marriage? Do you ever wish your kids would do more? Or do you ever feel overwhelmed? If so, then how are you going to change it?
JOSHUA – Yeah. What are you going to do different?
MARGIE – That’s right. Now in our family, with 11 children and Joshua and I both pretty strong willed…
JOSHUA – Very strong willed.
MARGIE – … there’s a lot of opportunity for stress.
JOSHUA – Now you know that if things are going to change in your family life, you’ve got to start thinking different. You’ve got to feel different. You need to see your children and your spouse in a totally new light.
MARGIE – Now to help you with this, we’ve created a free guide for you called the Family Fun Miracle, and you can access that right now. Go to the EndlessFamilyJoy.com/fun.
JOSHUA – Again, that’s EndlessFamilyJoy.com/fun. We’ll give you the entire system, a complete guidebook, and a training video that will show you real life examples of how you can implement it in your home, totally free of charge.
MARGIE – So just go to the website. Give it your name and email address. We’ll instantly send you everything you need.
JOSHUA – This is the exact same system, the same principles, that Margie and I use with our very large and challenging family to reduce stress, reduce friction and have more peace and more joy inside of our family life.
MARGIE – Thanks for coming here today. Thanks for listening. We’ll see you on the next episode. But until then, show real love to your family, cherish your family, and create more joy.